03 August 2009

naked neighborhood: the conclusion

we got a sunday paper yesterday. it's been years since i read one. what i was most impressed by were the coupons.

i clipped some, and for the first time in my life decided to save money at the grocery store. i looked forward to saving a dollar on that new deal you can stick in your dryer to get rid of dryer sheets. having a dryer sheet surprise me during the day by peeking out of my pants legs is getting old. if this giant block gets stuck in my pants, i should notice it before arriving at work.

i had five coupons. i gave them all to the check out lady. two beeped correctly. others inspired a strange nervous sigh from the checkout lady. one registered twice. management had to be called. people behind me in line edged forward and began blaming me for all their life's problems. ten minutes later, i ended up having to find two dollars in my pocket to pay for their miscalculation, and the people behind me in line had decided it was all my fault. maybe there's a reason i don't use coupons. i'm still excited, though, about the dryer thing.

oh, and the wrap up of the driveway clothes mystery: the cop finally called and loudly explained that it wasn't as interesting as he had hoped. the guy had been very drunk and didn't remember any of it. the shorts and underwear were his; the shoes belonged to his buddy. he had never heard of my street. he woke up naked in his friend's truck. given that his friend lives about five blocks away, there is still more to this story than anyone will ever know.


Angie said...

...did you get a thank-you card for doing your good deed and not keeping the money? if not then there is still 150 bucks worth of good karma yet to come your way! Yeehaw!

Anonymous said...

Maybe it has finally become common knowledge that freedom of nudity is frequently advocated in and /or around your neighborhood.... that could be scary.

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