30 July 2009


i realize i am above foolish consistency and that we all contain multitudes. i shouldn't hold too adamantly to any opinion, since there is a possibility i will disagree with myself at some point. yep. i believe those things. still, lately i feel like i've sold myself out.

it started with shrimp. i make a point of not eating it. then, just for something to do, i ate it four days straight.

eating the shrimp had a profound effect on my life. now nothing seems off limits.

i have made a point of sneering at people who pay for tv. i have lectured about the waste of money and the poor product. tomorrow afternoon, the cable guy comes. i still don't want a million channels. i told the person who excitedly offered me unlimited nfl for ten bucks, that i would pay him ten dollars to leave it off. why then? my wife likes to watch news in the morning, and i like to watch chef ramsey without having to stand by the wall with my arms in the air.

the switch to digital has made free tv worth exactly what we pay for it. i'm down to two channels in the living room and one in the bedroom. during storms, the only weather reports we get are when a tree limb crashes onto our roof.

so i've signed a deal with the devil. god will forgive the shrimp, but i'm not sure about the cable. wait until next week when i, the last guy in america without a cell phone, may buy one just to get rid of the telemarketers who live on my landline. it will be all over then.