30 July 2009

hobgoblins

i realize i am above foolish consistency and that we all contain multitudes. i shouldn't hold too adamantly to any opinion, since there is a possibility i will disagree with myself at some point. yep. i believe those things. still, lately i feel like i've sold myself out.

it started with shrimp. i make a point of not eating it. then, just for something to do, i ate it four days straight.

eating the shrimp had a profound effect on my life. now nothing seems off limits.

i have made a point of sneering at people who pay for tv. i have lectured about the waste of money and the poor product. tomorrow afternoon, the cable guy comes. i still don't want a million channels. i told the person who excitedly offered me unlimited nfl for ten bucks, that i would pay him ten dollars to leave it off. why then? my wife likes to watch news in the morning, and i like to watch chef ramsey without having to stand by the wall with my arms in the air.

the switch to digital has made free tv worth exactly what we pay for it. i'm down to two channels in the living room and one in the bedroom. during storms, the only weather reports we get are when a tree limb crashes onto our roof.

so i've signed a deal with the devil. god will forgive the shrimp, but i'm not sure about the cable. wait until next week when i, the last guy in america without a cell phone, may buy one just to get rid of the telemarketers who live on my landline. it will be all over then.

4 comments:

Angie said...

you are on to something...the Hubs doesn't know this yet, but I am secretly plotting the introduction of cable into our house as well...I am waiting until Winter. I can't believe it either...8 years in that house without cable and NOW I am caving...but it is exactly as you describe...I am tired of playing antenna...plus, due to various reasons, I am actually starting to detest summer, the season I have LIVED for for so many years...I am getting PUMPED about winter...and yes, images of watching HDTV in front of the fireplace seem to excite me more than beers on the backporch. I can't change my neighbors, but I can change stations...2009-year of the sellouts, deals with the devil...crossroads. Before you know it we will be soliciting the likes of Billy Collins for uglycousin...oh the horror...the horror..i will burn the incense to ward off this evil...

Red Heart Super Saver said...

Strangely enough, husband and I have been discussing getting a land line (why do we even need it? I don't know, I guess to have a local phone number), our own internet (instead of the management-provided intermittent wireless signal), and maybe even cable TV (because all we get reliably is PBS Create and one can only watch Christina Cooks so many times before the punching starts)...maybe even from Time Warner.
I blame you. Sorry.

lu said...

It always starts with the shrimp; the gateway
crustacean.

http://www.godhatesshrimp.com/

repent!

Ugly Scott said...

can't change my neighbors, but i can change stations--that's gold. i feel better about the decision now. well, at least i did until i went to godhatesshrimp.com. finally, a movement i can get behind.