20 May 2009

symptoms of being

there was a ring lardner book called symptoms of being 35 written in the 1920s that always sounded to me like symptoms of being 55. being 35 in the 1920s i reasoned is like being 55 now.

i overestimated.

being in one's mid forties is like being in one's mid thirties at the beginning of the last century.

here are some symptoms i've encountered recently:

today i had to fill out an insurance form and it required writing information from my check (which i also had to attach). i studied the microscopic print on the bank's address for many minutes--moving the check to various angles, looking for the right combination of light and focus which would enable me to determine if the zip code contained two sixes, two eights, or a six and an eight. i ended up looking up the bank online to get larger print.

we had a party at the house last friday, and the part of it that most satisfied me was that everyone was gone by 10:30 and i was asleep by 11:00.

my neck hurt today, and the reason wasn't a great strain or car accident. i had looked up at the ceiling.

i look forward to tomorrow evening, because i have nothing to do.


Elmer said...

Ah, yes. It sucks gettin' old.

Indigo said...

Getting older or just content with the calm and quiet? (Hugs)Indigo

Mignon said...

I'm not as old as the 'can't read small stuff' crowd, but I am flirting with the 'injured neck from rolling over too violently when sleeping poorly from having one extra IPA before bed' group.

I'm trying to figure out a way to feel young that doesn't require me to buy anything embarrassing, participate in an activity that would make me feel pain for many days (i.e. join a kickboxing club or a tattooing circle jerk) or force myself to suffer through some kind of chanting meditation junk that doesn't so much make one feel young as make you despise 50-year-old chanting meditation teachers. Is it Seth Rogen? Do I need more cowbell?

What's the secret to pretending I don't feel like I'm getting old?

Red Heart Super Saver said...

One can pretend to not be concerned about aging by being as mean as possible. (This is my answer for everything.) It works very well, because the more you make people cry, the less they'll notice that your butt mass and arm flab are colonizing and a higher-prescription half moon has popped up at the bottom of your glasses. Also, being casually mean to people is a proven method of releasing stress which normally would increase signs of aging. The trick is to not allow yourself to actually get angry, but just say mean things.

I haven't hit the quarter-century yet, but I get carded for more things than I should and I think that indicates success.

Woman in a Window said...

frig. the neck/ceiling thing got me laughing!

Abe's Heart said...

Yep. I can relate!

~~Abe's Heart.
(back 'n better than ever...I

Silver said...

Aging.... shouldn't suck all the time. It does have some benefits.. like they have special lines for these special category, discounts and .. sigh. Now i'm depressed.


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