18 January 2009

losing faith in america from an aisle seat

the binge of movie going is over. sure, i'll go to watchmen in march, but that is obligation, not choice.

the movie, mall cop, was almost as funny as a bad sitcom. i thought about all the money being wasted "in these tough times" to produce the movie and then watch it. making such a movie is like spending a few million dollars on broken phones. we went because we like kevin james. next time he comes out with a movie, we'll just send him ten bucks and skip the torture. we will all benefit.

the real problem is that bad movies bring out bad crowds. it was packed with frenetic packs of preteen bff's and sad american families. the former flitted about, while the latter kicked our seats, ate loudly, came in late, and generally treated the place like the inside of a minivan.

rows of seats in movie theaters are spaced at four-year-old kicking distance. they can never resist. parents are too brain dead and desensitized to the irritation of their children to stop it. instead of saying "stop it" to the kids and "sorry about that" to us, they drown out the world around them with non-stop munching of notoriously loud food packed in equally loud containers. i think the people next to us were pulling firecrackers out of a garbage disposal and lighting them in their mouths.

ironically, the people that made it difficult for me to hear were able to hear well enough to laugh at things so unfunny, no sensible person could be filled with anything but pity for their poor taste.

adult theaters are probably the better option. no kids, no eating, ample spacing between rows, and the sounds made are part of the show.

in the meantime, i am reminded of the bukowski line, which i am too lazy to look up: it's not that i hate people; i'm just happier when they're not around.

5 comments:

ugly wife said...

yes...like minds...we are.

Indigo said...

And here I was thinking I was missing out on the theatre experience being deaf. I rather enjoy waiting for the DVD, by then most of the reviews are out and I can come to a easy decision as to what I'd like to see.

I can definitely do with out the seat kickers, I'm not a bit nice about rude behavorior. (Hugs)Indigo

Ugly Scott said...

thanks for the visit, indigo. your blog has one of the coolest headers ever.

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