i've always wondered how they calculate the number of deaths due to severe cold. what contribution must the cold make to the person's death? does slipping count? anyway, i think i will soon be a statistic. i just came in from the cold. the cold excited my bladder. after coming inside, i went immediately to the bathroom. my frozen hands caused my talliwacker to retreat, but increased the level of bladder trauma. long story short (in more ways than one): i think i peed internally.
i have a hard time opening things, but i don't have the foresight to carry a knife. i fear my eyes are growing farther apart and my legs closer together. if i left the room, someone who doesn't know me might say, "who was that nervous guy standing on one leg?"