03 February 2009

boring bob's back

we ran into boring bob down at the minnow last week. we hadn't seen him in some time--forever, as the kids say. his real name is bob. i give him the name "boring bob" to disguise his identity. and because he's boring. in fact, we learned he had grown even more boring. but i guess you can't expect an oak tree to grow less oaky.

he was at the minnow to meet with fellow classmates from 1989 to plan their upcoming reunion. when his classmates arrived they proved the theory that all smart and good looking people have fled the midwest.

bob went up and hugged a women whose fat hung from her like sacks of tears. the reunion will be a sad affair. i hope it will be at the minnow so i can watch.

at any rate, i saw bob, i yelled "bob," as i used to do. he lunkered over, head down a little, glasses foggy from the temperature change. i asked how he was doing. "fine." i said i hadn't seen him in a while. "well, cheaper to drink at home. the economy, you know." i asked him if he was still working. "yea, same job, doing pretty well." i guess his economic worries were adopted to fit in.

i have no idea what, if anything, he said next. in years past his boring behavior was amusing. now his mannerisms and soft eeyore voice triggered self-hypnosis. i was transported to a different place and time.

i have attempted many times to clear my mind in meditation and found that i lack the discipline and focus. all i needed to do was invite bob to talk to me and my mind would be filled with blissful nothingness. god bless boring bob, the boring bodhisattva.


Woman in a Window said...

awww, poor poor bob.
god help me, i loved this.

bivalish said...

hannah, you know my friend hannah, and i enjoyed your boring bob blog. she called it "genius."

she also wants to know if we ever come to the minnow, will you buy us a drink.

i hope bob doesn't read your blog.

Mignon said...

I'm co-opting "but i guess you can't expect an oak tree to grow less oaky." I'll say I heard this guy Scott say it.

I've got an "Ohm" friend too. Except I realized after zoning him out for more than a year, that he wasn't boring at all. My bad.

lu said...

Wow, I've not thought of this take on the tedious. You can't imagine how Zen this is going to make my days in the classroom....

Ugly Scott said...

bless you all. biv, of course i will buy you a drink or five. i generally at the minnow only on wednesdays, fridays, and sometimes saturdays, so you should plan accordingly. that goes to anyone who wants a free drink.

Anonymous said...

See the minnow is about the best place I know to relax, now I am even more afraid of running into my teachers over there> :( btw...i like capt. morgan and dr. pepper..