27 April 2009

wind sensitivity


it hasn't made the news. no one is talking about global winding. well, i am. long story short: it has been very windy here for the last couple months, and i don't like it.

if i recall correctly from my class on meteorological psychology, long periods of heat make people kill, and long periods of wind make people want to kill themselves. casper, wyoming, a very windy place, has an alarmingly high suicide rate (though, as anyone in casper can tell you, there may be other factors as well).

adding to the problem, the wind increase has coincided with the switch to digital tv. yes, i am an antenna guy. under the old system, when the weather was bad, we got fuzzy pictures and sometimes static. i could watch it. with the upgrade, the wind turns every show into max headroom stutters and frozen frames of cubist art.

the wind intensifies on mondays and thursdays, the two nights i watch tv (big bang on tuesday, hell's kitchen on thursday). i sit beside the tv on those nights, arm ready to adjust and re-adjust the antenna, sometimes holding my body in awkward positions (seems to help), trying to outsmart the wind which works hard to destroy my shows while somehow preserving the commercials.

11 comments:

Woman in a Window said...

I so would never have imagined you an antennae guy. Somehow now I like you even more. (If you're considering killing yourself, you might want to consider cable.)

Ugly Angie said...

The Hubs and I are experiencing the same pain. Last Thursday, after long days of work, all we wanted was to hear Ramsey call someone a "stupid cow". Instead the tv kept getting stuck on Ramsey's sidekick's open mouth. Love your line about the cubist. Very nice.

ELAINE ERIG said...

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Victor Borge said...

How accurately you describe the plight of us "still receiving over-the-air programming," as Fox 19 refers to those of us who have decided not to be Time Warner television customers.

But since I'm assuming you watch TV above ground, I'm a little bummed to find that it's not just my basement apartment ruining my digital TV experience.

lu said...

I use the wind here in Kansas as my hill training while running. The other day it knocked me off my feet, I stumbled like a drunk.

foil. please tell me you have a piece of foil tied round in bunny ears.

Ugly Scott said...

lu, i think you could market the wind runner--big box with a fan for running in place, like those wave pools for swimming in place.

Anonymous said...

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