monday's unsolicited advice

to commercial makers in general: stop the violence.

to pepsi in particular: stop the nonsensical "historical" connections.

first things first. i like violence, profanity, and pornography as much as the next person. i also know that american humor has a violent streak (and have even studied it to the point of humorlessness). that being said, such things in my advertisements don't appeal to me. a little self-deprecation, a clever double entendre, or a little sex appeal are fine. going over the edge to explicitness in any catagoy doesn't seem right. i noticed a lot of guns and car chases and punches in the commercials this year, and i didn't like it. at least nothing was as bad as last year's offering from the american heart association, in which people dressed as things bad for the heart grabbed an old man, took him in an alley, and beat the crap out of him. not nice to beat the elderly.

and now, pepsi. i have been dedicated to pepsi products for my entire adult and near adult life. i buy pepsi for the same reason that anyone buys a particular brand of something that tastes pretty much like the other brands: tradition. i'm a michigan fan and i drink pepsi. god bless bob seger, eucher, and peach schnopps. i don't pretend to be a thinking man.

so what did they do to lose my business? in one of their less than memorable commercials, they were pairing images from 30 or 40 years ago with images from today. i guess the message was: america can't come up with anything original and neither can we. the only images that i remember are those that angered me. on the left of the screen was john belushi. on the right was jack black. please. i shouldn't have to explain why this comparison is odious. i want to like jack black, but haven't been able to very often. belushi was funnier, smellier, more original, crazier, made better movies, and could consume a hell of a lot more drugs than black.

though belushi said, "no coke. pepsi," i now say neither. i put my vote in for "whatever is on sale."